• Tamara Medina Sapovalova

What can we learn from bad experiences

Photo by @miteneva

When things end or don’t work the way that we expected them to, we often take it as something negative without realising that an end is always the start of a new beginning. When we are going through a difficult period in our lives, it is very hard to see things objectively and understand why this bad thing has happened to us.

With time, we gain perspective. We begin to understand why things developed in a particular way but until that happens, the best thing that we can do is focus on learning.

The greatest lessons in life generally cost us dearly, either emotionally or financially (or both). But learning is invaluable. As the saying goes, "Learn from the mistakes of others; you do not have time to make them all yourself."

Many times, we wait until circumstances become unsustainable and we feel 'forced' to take definitive action. I have seen it many times; people stay with a company and don’t feel valued or they are overqualified for the work that they’re doing (and bored), but they are too afraid to make a change. Many times, it is only when they are faced with forced change (redundancy, pay cuts, formal warnings or drastic internal changes, for example) that they take stock of their lives.

To let new things in our lives we have to close, clean and get rid of what does not serve us, what doesn’t work or what causes pain.

Next time you are going through a challenging experience, make a list of all the things that you are learning from it. Look at the negatives from a different perspective and keep adding to your list over time, as your experience changes from deflating to positive. Read back over your notes regularly and I guarantee that you will be amazed!

The important thing is the learning and personal growth that we gain from these experiences. So instead of ‘bad’ you can re-label them as ‘growing’ experiences. 



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